We’ll end this thing one swine at a time

Egypt is killing all its pigs. A swineless country on the Nile. That’s just crazy, but if we can’t blame it on the pigs then who? Conspiracy theories. This morning I woke up thinking why haven’t I heard any good conspiracy theories about swine flu. I thought, must be somebody who thinks the drug cartels in Mexico are behind it, must be somebody who thinks a secret government lab in the US has infiltrated Mexico and spread the virus in order to test a new biological weapon delivery system, must be someone who belives that Mexican immigrants are being used by Al-Qaida to weaken the infidel with flu so that they can swoop down upon us with scimitars and mullahs and veil all our women and carry off our children, there has to be a chem-trail conspiracist somewhere who is absolutely certain that the virus fell from the sky. And damn me, if I didn’t find almost everyone of these theories whipping around the internet like eggwhites in a cuisinart.